Attendants

Choosing Your Bridal Party:

Determining you bridal party is one of the most harrowing decisions you will make while planning your wedding. You first must determine the number of attendants then fill these slots with your friends and family. Let us just say this, "You are going to make a mistake, some feelings between friends and family will be hurt, but stand by your decision." Your first decisions are generally the best, go with these instincts.

Here are a few pointers to help you on your way. Start by eyeing the size of your ceremony site. Many sites just may not accommodate a large bridal party. It may be physically impossible to place more than 6 attendants at smaller venues. You must remember that certain fixtures at the ceremony site are "fixed", that is they cannot be moved to accommodate more attendants.

Choose your attendants very carefully, you must be sure that they will still be close to you at the time of your wedding. This may rule out some of your business colleagues, especially if you are considering a career move. Remember that many friends may be unwilling to travel a great distance to your ceremony. There will be some pressure to place members of your family in the bridal party. Make sure that you are certain of these choices before yielding to the family. Childhood friends may have become too distant, to choose. Your wedding also symbolizes your future, so pick some attendants who you will cherish as time passes.

If you find it difficult to tell an anxious friend or loved family member on your decision not to include them, you will find it easier to break this news to them either in person or by letter. People have become too used to phone calls, so will respond more positively to your use of another way to tell them. Try to keep your selections a closely guarded secret, so you have the opportunity to tell these disappointed people before they hear through the grapevine. It is always easier to explain to the other party on your problems in choosing your bridal party, and telling them the truth about having to decide between friends, family, cost and size of the bridal party.

The selection of a bridal party also gives you some more power in concluding other facets of your wedding. For instance, if your sister-in-law must be included in the party, and you compromise on a friend, then stand fast on another decision, such as if you want the wedding in a certain location and your mother-in-law wants it in another. Remember that your wedding, as well as your life is full of compromises and pick and choose yours wisely. Just make sure that you can live with these decisions, as long as you feel as your wedding is still under control.